“You offend God not only by stealing, taking the Lord’s name in vain or coveting your neighbor’s wife, but also by wrecking the environment, carrying out morally debatable experiments that manipulate DNA or harm embryos,” said [Bishop Gianfranco] Girotti, who is responsible for the body that oversees confessions.

In the sixth century, Pope Gregory handed down a list of “seven cardinal vices.” Now the Vatican has issued an additional seven “social sins.”:

1. “Bioethical” violations such as birth control
     (motivation:  create more catholics)

2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research
     (motivation: wtf sez the pope - this could have been another catholic!) 

3. Drug abuse
     (note to self:  I hope you can get a dispensation for caffene) 

4. Polluting the environment
     (I agree with this one - I wonder whether they’ll burn smoke when they elect the next Boss??)

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
    (um - ok)

6. Excessive wealth
    (because that would be widening the divide between rich and poor - right?  The nice thing about Christians is that they dont call for a fatwa on Benny Hine for violating their rules)

7. Creating poverty
    (um - havent we covered this already?  Is the bishop having a stroke?  Does he need some stell cell action happening in his melon?)

The original deadly sins:

1. Pride

2. Envy

3. Gluttony

4. Lust

5. Anger

6. Greed

7. Sloth

They just don’t write them like that any more!